essential claire

Day 12

Started with a mug of hot water with a slice of lemon.  Then a banana. Then a nettle tea.

For lunch I had grated carrot mixed in with Sauerkraut.  Again, the first few mouthfuls were delicious, then I just couldn't eat any more of it.  I had some cobbler for pudding.

I got really peckish around 3.30 and there wasn't anything I fancied, so I had a Ryvita.  I checked the packet and it's just rye and salt so I figured it couldn't hurt too much. 

By 5 I was noticing that I was getting a bit dizzy.  I knew I had to get something substantial in new and decided that I would opt for a cooked dinner.  I chopped up some spring onions, basil and black olives and halved a load of baby plum tomatoes.  I put the onions into a frying pan with some olive oil, a load of shelled peas and the basil.  I let them fry for a bit and then added the tomato halves, flat surface down. I sprinkled on some balsamic vinegar and let them cook for a bit before adding the olives.  I ate it with a Ryvita on the side. It was bloody delicious and I would happily eat more!!

It's coming up to 10pm now - I'm going to make a cup of tea and have some more cobbler and then head to bed about 10.30.

Crazy Cravings - Day 11

It's day 11 and the cravings are driving me insane.  When I woke this morning I decided to eat loads all day to build my strength back up.

I had organic pineapple for breakfast with peppermint followed by a banana.

For lunch I was going to have salad but I just didn't feel like it so I had half an avocado mashed up with tomato and onion.  The first few mouthfuls went down fine, then it started tasting nasty so I abandoned it.  Instead I made a blackberry and apple cobbler of sorts.  I made a blackberry and apple puree with lots of cinnamon and a date which I then mixed with a blend of oats, ground soaked almonds and pecans and another date.  Had a bit and put the rest in the fridge.

In the afternoon I got a plate of spinach and rocket with some black olives and yellow pepper with just olive oil over the top, but it was horrible.

Nothing tastes right.  Tomatoes used to be my favourite food, now they taste acidic and meaty and vile.

I had more cobbler, but there's no stopping it - I am craving chips like crazy.  French fries specifically. And this time its not the vinegar its the potato.  I just checked the freezer and I have roast potatoes, but they are coated in wheat flour so I too scared to cook them. Its really testing my mettle this.

White bread, potatoes, cheese and tuna. That's what I fancy right now.

Aaaaaaaaaaaarggghh - I could eat my own elbow!

Day 193 - Naughty naughty girl

For a number of reasons...

1  I havent blogged since 20th September

2  I've been slipping right off the raw food rails

3  I'm not exercising as regularly and/or as hard as I should

4  I've been eating junk again!

One of the reasons I havent blogged is that on the 25th Sept, I went away to Wales for a week.  It was the first time I've been on holiday with my parents since I was 14 which is over 20 years ago now.  That may not sound so strange or challenging, but I went to boarding school at 11 and never returned home to live, so I havent even spent a whole week with them since I was 18, exactly 20 years ago!

In the event, we had a fantastic time - only 2 arguments the whole week - one of which was between my mum and my dad.  I'd never been to the Cardigan Bay area of Wales before; it is absolutely beautiful.  Lovely beaches and clifftop walks.  Seals and dolphins. Fishing villages. Potteries. Woodlands.

Then about 2 days after I got back from Wales, I went to Spain for 10 days! The weather was decidedly warmer! It was gorgeous and while I was there, I was properly seduced into thinking I wanted to move over there to live.  Much better for the raw food thing. But as soon as I got back, I realised I would be leaving to much important stuff behind.

I've been so busy catching up after the 3 week break, that I've let the exercising slip right down the agenda.  And when I last went to the gym which must have been around the 19th October, I was back up at 80kg! Not good.  Actually, I did go once since then, but turned around and came straight back home again after nearly having an accident on my way there.  I just made it to the loo in time. Thats the problem you see. If I dont eat the right stuff, all the worst symptoms return including "the urgent need for a toilet with about 30 seconds warning" fun and games!

In about an hour or two, I have what I hope will be my last appointment at the hospital (I seem to always be saying that!).  I had the colonoscopy back in September and this is the results.  Hopefully, I will escape without having to have anything shoved up my arse today! But who knows.  I might also have to confess to not having taken any of their medicines. Well, I tried, but the pills made me feel wretchedly sick and the squirt up yer bum ones are just too inconvenient so I never got around to it. And anyway. If I eat right I'm fine.  At least I will find out today what the so-called experts think it is - UC or Crohns or both which seems equally likely given that I have symptoms of both and 2 different experts with 2 different opinions.

So this morning I have had a green juice and an orange juice.

The green juice comprised - 125g of fresh spinach leaves, 3 sticks of organic celery and 2 organic Braeburns.

The orange one comprised of - 3 carrots, 2 oranges with pith and a chunk of root ginger put through the garlic press.

I took 2 digestive enzyme tablets with the juices - these seem to really help - I started taking them just before I went to Wales because I know my stomach is not terribly good at digesting. I think this is why Im having problems with my colon - but doctors are sure it has nothing to do with it so what do I know eh?

Now I'm going to have a cup of nettle tea and some nuts.

Will try and write more regularly.

Here's a pic or two from Wales...

Day 141

A couple of days after my last entry, I had to start preparing for the colonoscopy I was having on Wednesday 15th. This meant a low-fibre diet.  The complete opposite of the foods that keep me well.  So I ate a teeny bit of lettuce of 2 days and rice. Then I had to fast for 2 days which was preferable actually, but because I'd barely eaten anything the 2 days before that, I was really quite tired by the Wednesday.  I also had to take very strong laxatives starting the day before the examination. 

The exam itself was fine.  The sedatives were strong, but I watched and talked to the doctor about what we could see on the monitor all the way through.  Before he started, I said to him that I thought he would find most of the inflammation in the transverse colon area.  He looked at me like I was a nutter - what is she talking about? But when it came to it, he just said - "wow - you really do know your own body dont you?"  The transverse colon was indeed the worst bit!  The examination still failed to confirm which condition I have out of UC and Crohns, and rather confusingly there was evidence of both there.  Little white patches and the history of fistula point to Crohns, the ulceration and symptoms appearing after giving up smoking point to UC.  He took so many biopses - I reckon about 20, but that may be the sedatives playing with my head, perhaps it was only half that. But there were a lot.  The results will tell us for sure what's going on in a few weeks time.  The good news is that I'm not going to need surgery and there were no polyps which means no cancer.

The bad news is that all that being poked around, drugs and laxatives, and having bits of me removed, has left me feeling quite poorly.  I went out yesterday for the first time since the exam.  All my old symptoms are back; bleeding, burning and cramping pain in my stomach, backache, tiredness, diarrhoea, frequent trips to the loo etc.  And my stomach is totally distended too which besides being uncomfortable is also totally depressing.  I'm going away on Friday with Mum and Dad for my first holiday with them for 24 years!! Last went when I was 14! I really want to be well for then, but I'm feeling quite lethargic about it all and am about to give in and pick up the prescription for the steroid enema and anti-inflammatories.

I will get back onto the raw diet too. I'm taking digestive enzymes and drinking green juice and nettle and peppermint teas, but I feel I need a little intervention now.

I hope I don't regret it.

Day 110 - Friday

Well its time I fessed up.

Last week I took my goddaughter out for the day and used that as an excuse to eat a mozzarella and tomato panini for lunch (at the boating lake cafe - there were no salads). So because I did that, when I went out for dinner with her mum later that evening, I decided I might as well not worry about eating cooked - I'd get back on track the next day.  So I had mushroom and grilled halloumi brochettes on a bed of cous cous with chargrilled red peppers with a green salad on the side. I then decided that since I was having an exceptional day, I might as well have a glass or two of wine. In the end we drank 2 bottles of rose. My friend was much tipsier than I was and considering I'm the lightweight non-drinker(-ish) I think its fair to assume that I had 2/3s of a bottle while she had 1 and 1/3 bottles!

Anyway, the next day I expected to be soooo poorl... but I wasn't! Not even a bit. Well, a bit of gurgling but no pain and no major symptoms.  This was cause for celebration. Clearly I have managed to heal myself to a point where I can drink again if I like and I can eat cooked food and not get ill. 

So then a few days later, one of my best mate's gets married.  I decided that the revelation of a few days earlier means I shall definitely be having a drink or two on the special day. Plus I am no longer worried about having to eat a bit of cooked all be it veggie food all day.  So what do I do?  I knock down about 5 Pimms before dinner, 2 glasses of red wine with dinner, 1 glass of champage for the speeches, a cup of coffee and another 2 Pimms and a glass of water (! no idea why I suddenly got sensible) over the course of the evening's dancing.  Talk about overdoing it!

As for food, for dinner, I had a slice of fresh melon to start (very good) followed by about 8 sticks of steamed root veg, 3 tiny roast potatoes and a Yorkshire pud for my main.  Considering I had only had a berry smoothie for breakfast and no lunch, it was hardly surprising that I was still ravenous so I also had a pudding of some kind (can't remember what mind you) plus some wedding cake.  That lot wouldn't have been too awful if I had stopped there,  but as I was still hungry when more food appeared later, I couldn't help myself and this is where it started going horribly wrong...

Little paper cones with a breaded fish goujon and chips, cheese and tomato on white sandwiches and thank heavens, crudites with hummous - oh and little chocolate tart things.  Luckily the crudites and hummous were my favourites, but tasting the chips had got me started on a slippery slope that I've been sliding down since!

This week, there has been bread, croissants, pizza, chips, crisps, biscuits, pastries, wine, beer, eldeflower cordial (with sugar), chocolate and turkish delight. Not a single day has gone by where I have not partaken of the evils contained in that list.  Worse still, I have neglected to juice every morning or eat any green leaves etc alongside the junk.

I worked solidly through Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then yesterday took myself off to the gym - and again today so at least I have exercised. And this morning I juiced. 

I have just had my organic food delivery, so I have plenty of fresh stuff in the house, and no social gatherings I can blame for being wayward. Other than Alice's annual picnic on Sunday which I will finally be making it too.  I was going to make an artichoke heart and red pepper salad but Alice reckons no-one will eat it!  As 2 enormous cucumbers have just arrived, I think I might have to make a cucumber salad of some kind. Or a raw vegan version of a Waldorf Salad - pears, walnuts, celery, cucumber in a nut butter dressing.

Anyway - I was so chuffed that my weight had dropped to 76Kg. I weighed myself again today and yesterday to couble check and I've put 2kg on over the last 10 days! I must get myself back on track.  Maybe a visit to Fresh and Wilds for a Wheatgrass shot in the morning might help!

Oh my goodness - and there I was feeling chuffed that I'd lost weight!! Here's a pic of me in my Indian outfit at the wedding - I look huge!!  There's no way on earth the scales at the gym are correct!

Update on Measurements

Its been a long time coming I know, but I figured it was about time I shared this with you...

The measurements in black below were as at day 1 (May 04).  Red are today. Green is difference.

Bust: 42.5" (with bra on!)  40.5" down 2"

Waist: 37" 33.5 down 3.5"

Hips 45" 42.5" down 2.5"

Thigh: 26" (gasp - I can remember having a 28" waist at 11!) 25.5 down .5"

Upper arm: 14.5" 13" down 1.5"

Bit disappointed with the thighs!  I never told you my weight before because I was ashamed of how much I weighed. I can't even remember for sure, I shall have to check my gym records, but I know it was 13 stones something and 85Kg rings a bell which would be 13.38521 stone. 

Well I am happier to report that as of yesterday, I weighed 76Kg or 11.96795 stone.

That means I've lost about 1.41726 stone!  Thats not bad is it!!

Day 5 - Friday

Breakfast - Juice of 1 beetroot, 2 apples, 2 carrots and half a pink grapefruit.  The grapefruit didnt really work with the rest of it.

Did a bit of work and then headed off to the gym via the bookshop. Had a banana on the way in. It was dead in there today; apparently that's typical for a Friday. I did 30 lengths which I was really pleased with - admittedly they were slow - but there were 30 of 'em nonetheless! I did 20 breaststroke and 10 holding a float out front just using crawl legs. After that I got my eyebrows done and then went to the V-Cafe for a smoothie for my lunch and to read the papers. The smoothie was Strawberries, Raspberries, Cranberries and some other berries, but it tasted like it was made from frozen fruit which was a shame.

Bit more work in the afternoon including my coaching call and then I decided to knock up a raw pesto!

I took a whole load of rocket leaves, some spinach leaves, a bag of pine nuts, about 5 sun-dried tomatoes and 2 fresh ones, loads of dried basil (cos I didn't have any fresh stuff sadly), a big clove of garlic,  a sprinkling of sea greens, a generous milling of pepper and a generous amount of olive oil.  All blended together to make a delicious pesto!  I then grated up a courgette and mixed the the pesto through it - mmmmm. There was loads left over and I'm hoping it'll last til tomorrow evening!

Right - big day tomorrow so got to get to bed. Night night...

Day 4 - Thursday

I woke up this morning and went to the fridge to get fruit for my juice, as I opened the door to the fridge, the smell hit me - vile - so the remainder of the cauli cous cous went in the bin! And now each time I open the bin the smell is vile. I'll have to put it out! Anyway, this mornings juice was 1 cooking apple, 3 med carrots, 2 pears and a good size chunk of coconut.

Sorry to be gross, but I think its important to report on whats coming out as well as whats going in!, so...

The diarrhoea and bleeding has stopped altogether now. The last of the Barium meal came out yesterday, but my poo this morning was skinny, long, practically odourless and a chalky white! I guess that was the cauli cous cous then! I'm so use to having poo that is on the verge of diarrhoea that its strange to be doing firmer ones - I think its okay though. Most people strain when they poo and spend hours in the loo. Thats not how it should be.  You should be able to poo without straining. I'll keep an eye on things as your poo is a very good indicator of your bowel health.

LATER...

Oh my gosh - I have just had the most delicious lunch!

It was a salad made from carrots, fennel, celery, yellow pepper, sun dried tomatoes and walnuts served on a bed of green salad leaves and spinach with olive oil and balsamic vinegar over the top! To die for - I'm not kidding, I'd choose that over a cheese sandwich anyday. M m mmmmm.

Now for a cup of Detox tea and I've got a pint of water that I'm going to force myself to drink by 5pm.

My shape is already changing; I know the fat isn't going to disappear overnight, but whats wonderful is seeing my trunk shrink before my eyes as the swelling goes down. I no longer look like a pregnant woman!

Day 3

Was so knackered last night, I was in bed before midnight again. This is most odd for me. I'm normally up til 2 or 3 am, but since starting this, I get tired much earlier. Perhaps its cos theres no e numbers, stimulants and additives keeping me up!

Anyway, busy day ahead today... have breakfasted on the juice of 2 huge carrots, 2 apples, 2 pears and a load of celery. In a minute I'll have a peppermint tea, but first I have a newsletter to get out!

LATER...

Got the newsletter out, headed over to register at my new docs, got back and realised that I as I had to go back later to pick up a letter, I wouldnt be able to make into town to meet an old work colleague for a drink as planned, so emailed her to cancel and then headed over to coach the boys in Fulham. I hadn't had time for any lunch so I took a paper bag with 3 apricots, 4 brazil nuts, 3 dates, a few pecans, a few walnuts and about 9 dinky almonds and then as I got change for the cab across the road I bought a few bananas and had one of them immediately.

I finished at the school at about 3 and headed back here. Worked for a couple of hours and then decided to fix my dinner. Needed a bit of variety, so I went quite adventurous! I'm going to call it Thai Cauli salad. Basically it was a salad of about half a cauliflower, 10 baby spinach leaves, 1 tomato, half a leek, a chunk of fresh coconut and some thai seasoning. I think a bit of real lemongrass, some lime and some fresh coriander would have really done it proud, but it was still nice. It's weird, my first reaction when I'm preparing these dishes is negative and doubting, like - oh lord this is going to be vile - but they never are. Its amazing. This was like a cous cous salad, in fact if you werent told it was cauliflower, you could easily think it was cous cous. Anyway - later I shall have passionfruit, banana and coconut with walnuts as a treat/pudding.

One thing though I'm glad I'm not doing this for weight loss purposes, I'm not sure I could stick to it!

EVEN LATER...

The sweet dish wasn't banana and passionfruit in the end - it was apples, mixed dried fruit (raisins, sultanas, currants), almonds and honey - all blended together to form a kind of mincemeat texture. It was okay, tasted fine, just wish I could find another texture. I guess I need some recipe books and a dehydrator!   

Day 2

Had the weirdest sensation in my legs last night. They were throbbing and I couldnt sleep to start with, in the end I shoved a pillow under my knees and that did the trick. That and the horrid crunching and stiff neck ache are not thrilling me. Wonder what thats all about.

I was up before my alarm went off at 6.40! No idea why! I really wanted a nice cup of peppermint tea or at least a glass of water, but I resisted as requested in the notes from the hospital. Incidentally, I got it wrong - today was the Barium meal and the small intestine x-ray - next Tuesday is the enema and large intestine x-ray.

So 9.10 has me sitting in the hospital x-ray dept waiting area. Finally went through about 30 mins later and told to get into a gown. I then went through to one x-ray room where I was given the first drink of Barium and the first x-ray. Then I was sent off with a jug of the stuff and told to drink it all. It was nice to have some liquid inside me, but its not the nicest of drinks. Anyway the entire contents drunk and 2 more 'photo sessions' later and I was free to go.

I don't know what it was, but I fell asleep on the bus! I never do that - and its not like I was very tired either - strange. When I got in, I made a cup of peppermint tea and then had to lie down I felt so weak. An hour and a half later and I woke again. I sorted out my juice - 2 apples, 2 sticks celery, 2 carrots, 1 beetroot - yummy and then fixed myself the same spinach, courgette, tomato and hazelnut salad as I had yesterday.

I'm now attempting to do my work - but I still feel drowsy and the stiff neck thing is back. Think it must vbe this chair. Gonna have some apricots now with my detox tea. 

LATER...

Had a couple of dried apricots and about 4 pecans at about 6pm. Then after our Bridge Call I had a plate of avocado, tomato and rocket with 2 sundried tomatoes and 2 olives all sprinkled over with japanese sea greens.